Forgiveness is a process

Why hello again!
Today I want to complain- however: Something inside me tells me that I shouldn't because indeed it can always be worse.  I need to be thankful for what I have- so whenever I am at a loss.. I find myself going back to the word:

Heb 12:28 Let us be thankful, then, because we receive a kingdom that cannot be shaken. Let us be grateful and worship God in a way that will please him, with reverence and awe;


Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you also were called in one body, and be thankful.

So... This makes me think and remember- Be thankful for my family, my friends, my home, my food, **of course when we ask Zeeky what he is thankful for during nightly prayers: it is usually (elmos, meows, papa, mammie, geg, nana, trees, outside, mowers, austin, mama, daddy, maggIE, guinea pig,  ... and it goes on like that- and depending on the day can change to more things or a selection of a few of these) and most of all my Kingdom I will have in the end.

With that being said: this is where I am today:
It started off great- went to the zoo- my babies were surpringsily well- Maggie is one happy happy HAPPY baby- and Z we went through the day well- he even had a dry diaper after many hours! - He was  a little whiney- but all in all- good - I was thankful to get through the zoo with 2 under 2 in one piece.

We get to the car- with the dry diaper I notice, because I decide to change him in the car- knowing that he will fall asleep on the way home- he needs to go "potty"- anyone that has potty trained- if one is willing- you must treat this like the armegedon and RUN to find a toilet..  for a little one to relieve this feeling inside them(and you must move and think FAST).. I was in the parking lot.. in a frantic- thinking "WHY DID I NOT BUY THAT RIDICULOUS POTTY I MADE FUN OF THAT GOES SOOOO HANDY IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR (gross right)????" <now I understand why> although I still think it's ridiculous...?

I look at my gf and say I am sorry- I dont know what to do.. but let him go here....

Drop the drawers on the tire he goes- with embaressment comes VICTORY- and grossness- and CONGRATULATIONS! soooo...

Then come home he goes night night- Mags and I snuggles... and Jason is HOME- comes in the house- what does he tell me he finds? our beautiful fence torn to pieces! We just put this up last year- not even a year old... No note- no one came to the door.. no nothing but a guilty person driving off. It is torn to pieces soooo horribly :(

our neighbor said that she saw a white van or truck drive off (may I mind you this is from her son telling us because she is about ohhh 80- and doesnt speak english).  She lives with one of her other sons, his wife and 3 children... but they were not home. "supposedly" she was in the house heard a big crash came out and saw a white truck or van drive off... Now the reason we brought our fence all the way back was because the neighbor's guests kept parking in our extra slot... sooo - we are hoping it wasn't a guest person hitting it- and believing what they say. . . 

 When the son says to me " I don't know how someone couldn't have seen this?" (proceeds to smack at my fence) and then says "or park here fine- I parkED my big truck here with a trailer just fine and didn't hit it today". 

I took it for what it was came back in and Jason is calling the nonemergencey police for our hit and run incident.. *which I am certain we won't hear anything about that*  

Then I thought to myself: Waiiiiit- his truck and trailer were parked in front? If he parked there JUST fine.. then why is he in front of the house? ehhh... I guess it's for the birds now..

We go and run our errands then come home to find:

Our new backgate hand to latch it is busted- someone shoved the door so hard- it didn't latch but bend so you can not open or shut the back door now.. We left about 430 after the cop took the report walked thru the gate fine and shut gate fine and came home around 6 to it completly busted.

I asked our neighbors-the old lady- but her son was home now... (who were outside the back the whole time) and they never saw anyone enter our leave since we left... ehh it's for the birds.

I just really REALLY wonder how people can live with themselves... Drive off from accidents, steal from others, and live a "happy" "healthy" life. It makes me sad... to think so many are among us with an empty heart. I really pray tonight more for my fellow citizens I share this earth with. A fence is a fence- it can be fixed, I am thankful Zeeky was not playing there at that moment- or any other children.

But I am sad for the people with that guilty conscience now- Everytime they look at their beaten up car, truck, van or trailer, they see what they have done... and someday come to ask for forgivness... at this point not even from me (but it would be nice for them to pay for it...)

Every sin.. is a sin.. no matter how big or how small.. a sin is a sin.. equal in every way- which does kinda freak me out- but some people not so much. . . So tonight I will not only be reading my bible for the knowledge of thankfulness, but for forgiveness for me to forgive those people, and for them to find forgiveness within themselves. 

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Can't I just really like this one:

Luke 15:7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

But I REALLY need to:

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Isn't that just beautiful?